Day of Hope #29

Wednesday May 13, 2015

Goal: Figure out how to not be homeless, jobless, and broke

Quote: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” – Vivian Greene

Today I am taking the day to get re-focused and centered. I have been struggling with a huge decision I had to make. It’s been very tough on me, my heart, and my life plan. The company I worked for, at the time, was bought by another company, and moved to Chicago. Several people received job offers to go with the new company, including me. I accepted. The people are great to work with and it would be a wonderful opportunity. It was a tough decision to leave my family and be far away, but I thought to myself, just go, I am single, and I had never really lived far away from everyone. As I explained in day of hope #26, why not? Go on a great adventure. 

When I moved to Idaho from Utah so many years ago, I thought it was hard to be five hours away from my family. Now, I am considering moving even farther away, and I have to try to get on a plane to get to my family if needed. But I made the decision to go. I have been traveling back and forth for work, I sold my cute vision board house and packed everything into a storage unit. I am staying with friends until the move date in March. 

I was now at my favorite park, Ann Morrison in Boise, Idaho. I have been sitting and journaling all afternoon. I have now decided not to go to Chicago. Yes, that’s right, I am not going. After lots of deep thought, stress, and worrying, I will stay in Boise.

The people at the company were awesome, and they did not factor into my decision at all. I was going because of them, and because of the money. My decision came down to, why am I leaving a place so many people in Chicago are trying to get to. You should never base a decision solely on money. I knew I would hold out to my two-year contract, no doubt, but I knew in my heart I would come back after two years. The people I was working for were too good to me, I could not in good conscience go through with it and leave them hanging after two years. When you are an executive assistant, you do a lot. You get very close to people, and you become a huge part of the company. Since my heart was not in it, I knew it would affect my performance. 

So here I am. I have no house to call my own, and I am living with friends who were only expecting me there until March. My financial troubles, which would have been taken care of if I had moved, are still there. I won’t have a job after March, and I will be severed. It’s a lot to deal with. But somehow, I am not afraid. I am a little dis-heartened, but I just know it will all work out. My future is unknown, but that’s kind of exciting because… my future is unknown, and I can plan it. I will look forward to new adventures.

I am at the park, coming up with my next plan of attack, and what I am going to do with my future. I am looking forward to some much-needed time off. I plan to take a few months to figure things out. I also had an amazing daughter graduating with her masters from college this year, and my kids are moving back to Boise. I have a lot to be thankful for and a lot to accomplish. 

One of my friends always says, “When we have a lot on our plate, that just means we have a lot of blessings to manage”. I love that and try to remember it always. I am overflowing with lots of blessings, believe me. But I am hopeful. 

I am very thankful for the friends I am living with, and how amazing they are to me. I feel like their daughter. They will come in to play here in a few months. I don’t have any answers at this point, but keep reading to see how it unfolds, and what I learned from all this. 

My lesson of hope: Life will always throw things at you to make you grow and evolve, just remember that someone out there would love to have your problems, as theirs are far worse. Learn everything you can to manage all those blessings and move forward.